My life is constantly dictated by others. I am beginning to wonder whose life this really is.

Phrases, such as "I don't want to pressure you" and "I hope...", have become commonplace when suggesting ideas and plans for my life.

These people don't understand, or understand and don't care, how this can make a person feel obligated to fulfill their wishes. You feel compelled not let them down or hurt their feelings. Is it better to be a "Yes" man at the sake of your own life? Or a "No" man at the sake of potentially hurting others' feelings?

I have become a shadow of my former self. A ghost trapped inside a living, breathing being. Surrounded by slave drivers with a pocketful of good intentions and an even kinder heart.

But before my foot reaches my mouth, do not mistake this for displeasure towards those dictators. For they mean no harm, and I take it as no harm. I am only upset because I am a "Yes Man" and am constantly running from here to there, never seconds to spare, or money. But I guess that's just life. I need to learn how to say "No." Or speak up for myself.

Where the fuck is Kristina?