C'est la vie

There are actions and words I regret; they are an inseparable part of me now and always, I know.
This is who I am -- no changing the inconsistencies of a past life; why dwell?
Dwell just long enough to transmute the inconsistency to beauty.
I am who I am, and that's just who I'll be ... for now.
Tomorrow I will be made anew; reborn from sleep.
Dreams of reconciliation, wonderment, nightmarish figures in black. 
To take it all back, you can't. Not even a morsel, nor thought.
All is here with me now, forever and always: Now.

C'est la vie. 

Got To Be Some Body

No one wants to die alone.
Yet, every living being must.
Memento mori.
There are many paths we walk before our time here expires.
How do you tread yours?
Amor fati.
I tread mine barefoot, and open-eyed.
Standing in awe of the view -
The Now.
The once here, but now gone.
Every instance is unique,
each moment holds unimaginable beauty.
One only needs to open their
mind, heart, and eye
to see it.
Be fearless;
Play.
Love
one
another
Today.

A Potential for Love, Left to Lust

These Women.
The Women I Love.
They Do Not Know.
My Heart,
It Yearns
For Them So.
But Thine Love,
It Doth Not Grow.
For Mine,
It Doth Not Show.

Aloha.

Hello All,

It has been a while, a long while. Where have I been? Where have you all been?
Have you grown? Have you withered up dry?
Why?
The questions I ask just to breach this continental divide looming between us.
You would think there would be some feedback, but only distortion I sense.
Who are you?
Why have you come here?
For ill or good will?
Will you make something of it, or just tell me go shove it?
Shove it up a hill, get bent, or stand still.

I would like for you to see this through.

Mine Enemy

Early in the morning, not having fully risen from slumber, its dreadful task begins anew.
Slipping away, the moments, the memories they fade.
A night of wonder, a stint of lust, all fall back to dust.
And that, too, is blown away. 
Mine enemy, is thine enemy, such a cunning foe.
O', do thee not know, this foe?

So Awe-mazing

That which is found on the Altar

is that which is found within. 

Join Us. 

-From Within the Maze-

Alcoholism

I AM an alcoholic.
I do not understand people.
        Confusing, at best.
Or is it that I AM the confused one.
Bebe de mi copa.  
Come de mi plato.
Esta conmigo.

One once said, 
"I drink to forget,
I write to remember."
What is it I want to forget?
Have I forgot?


My Heart calls out,
Sushanna! Sushanna!

Free Bib E.Z.

People are too much for me

I wanna be free

I wanna be free.

People filled with jealousy

They are not free

They are not free

People want the BIG E.Z.

But it ain't free

No, it ain't free.

The Power of the Symbol

As I lay, with the weight from the stone weighing down upon my chest, I could feel my consciousness  gather beneath my forehead. My eyes shut, I can see a glowing orb spinning and dancing. This orb is aligned with the center of consciousness currently residing near my forehead. The light emanating from this thing dampens and, now, clearly I see two quartz (or maybe it was amethyst) crystals bound together with cordage in a perpendicular cross of maybe two inches--spinning madly yet never faltering from its' intended pattern. My conscious attention is focused impenetrably on the scene. The light shifts, as if an aura of color is being projected out from the depths of its crystalline structure. Now there is no doubting the alignment with my third eye conscience mass pulsating and bubbling beneath the surface of my head--like the law of mutual attraction, these two centers have honed in their tractor-beams on one another. All the while, still spinning at a constant rate, bobbing just barely up and down. The light now is shifting in and out of patterns, and one of these patterns sticks. Circles. Or so they appear to be, and each containing a symbol within; it is these which make contact at the crown of my skull. They spin and spin and spin, and make their way down my head. The feeling I get is nearly indescribable--some divine ecstasy at work. I was paralyzed--no movement--shoot, I coulda been dead for all I knew or cared. All I cared about at that time was the continuation of the rotating cross of quartz, the lights swirling down my body, and the zen of it all; but I had to come back, as we always do. My unconscious mind knew this, for the swirling lights became unbalanced. The rotation not as perfect. This was near my sternum, about where the hematite was lying. Something finally 'snapped' and the connection was lost; however, I arose from the situation with a deep calm. A miracle had just occurred in my own bed.

Lake Captive

Slipped into a dream from the couch, and this is what I seen: I seen a magnificent trailer as wide as a football field, as long as a warehouse, as deep as a lake, and filled with water. At first, the water appeared dark and ominous as a lake; this appearance kept as the woman in our merry band of three flung a gold 'whipping' chain down into the depths--not on purpose. Now to my recollection, she was the going with the third member of the present company--who that was or is is beyond my present mental grasp, so on we go. I asked if she wanted to go down there sometime--me, envisioning myself up next to her in the dark abyss, on our little adventure. It was about this very moment that the rumblings were first distinguished from our chatter. Something was amidst in this cavernous pool. We checked our surroundings: we were situated on what appeared to be a boat dock, the only one in the whole trailer, and this place was big, I mean BIG. There were lights above us, but the light receded the farther from the dock one got. We never got far, for as we inspected, another rumble emanated up from below. The ripples, finally reaching watery surface, were undulating and smooth.  This was it. They found us. We dove into the water, as the whole trailer shook. Whatever it was that had the mountainous force to budge this holy ark of water must have been the size of a continental slag and have the ability to sheer tops from mountains and smoke a carton of reds a day and spew great globs of burning oil across the land and mock G-d. We were beneath the surface of the water, now clear, and could make out the side of our encampment under siege--it kept shuddering. I looked up, into the light, and felt the water being displaced, starting a roll, and off we go. But, the trailer settled once more on it's axle--one final moment of rest before the symphony let in with the horns and hellfire was loosed from her bridle. The whole container went reeling, rolling, over we went, water and all. I watched from below as we all spilled from our trailer. Whether luck or fate, the roof split and we were washed out safely on the ground, at the feet of our captors. Safe at last.


>The deep unconscious mind, contained within, under siege - under attack - from powers without.